misery!

went to veda blue after buying dinner just now and i saw this one ice cream in bambangan flavor. huuuu~~ the boy there asked if i would like to try and i did. the taste was exactly the same with pickeled bambangan but i wasn't really fond of it. i only tried for 1 scoop and now my body is aching and i'm feeling really cold. i shivered for the hundredth times now and my goosebumps every 1 second..oh gosh! this is awful. pickeled bambangan is actually one of my all-time fav but this kind of bambangan is really new for me and my body didn't really accepted the flavor. my face went really pale and my lips was dry. i felt just like going back home and sleep with my donkey underneath my thick tick comfortable blanket. huuuu~ but i know that i wont be having that feeling straight away when i come back home. instead i have to do the dishes which we left for lunch,cook dinner,sweep the floor,do the laundry and blablabla~ the list goes on.thank goodness we have a washing machine. gosh! my stomach is aching and i think im gonna throw up. bye everyone!

p/s : today i met my dad long lost friend. actually a staff of him during his times at corporate dynamics.
     : second day work without facebook because my boss blocked it. any idea on how to unblock it?

ok i really need to go! blluueeekkkk~~~

eat and laugh

went to have dinner at a chinese restaurant last night with my mom,sister,her bf and my man. had chinese tea, chicken salad,stemed crab and butter,fried fish with some soy on it,assam pedas fish and sweet corn soup with crabmeat. the food was quite ok except for the fried fish as it was too salty and to dry. after dinner was the drinking session which was just light. 5 of us shared 3 big bottles of tiger and i was like,"man...i want some more" HAHA! but had to keep it lite cuz my mom was there. HEHE. my sis bf was such a moron cuz my mom said "bie,jangan la ko minum lagi..bagi la si wafi tu" cuz my man claimed he didn't drink..maka~ after dinner we went back to my sis home. my mom pampered her girls with hair wash~ siookkk oooo...its been a while that she din washed my hair..oh! desserts were served at home with ice cream..again my mom complain lagi cuz i shouldn't be having to much ice cream because of my "ampus"..haiizzz...it was good when three of us could get together. but my two lil bro's is missing in action cuz dorang d kampung~ huhu.. 3 girls slept at the room but the boys decided to sleep outside cuz they wanna play "katam-katam"..ngiikkkk! this morning my man said when we were otw back home "c wafi ada turbo sama ekzos" snoring la tu..HAHAHA! i enjoyed last night, spending time with my mom and sister even banyak betul nasihat keluar..tapi, it's normal for a mom and i know that one day i would be that noisy old lady too talking to my children. hehe~

love this!

the not-so-art work.

so here was my work of not so art that i did in my room. hehehheheheh!!! for my sleeping lights or my " lonely nights and im drinking alone" lights. hahahha!

is the mission accomplished? u guys tell :)

today was really a tiring day. i came to the office sharp 1030 and had my oatmeal and milk for a quick breakfast. i didn't ate breakfast at home and packed the milk and oatmeal to work. lucky we had the COWAY water filter machine here. thank u boss! haha! after breakfast, I started my job with completing the price for new arrivals lighting fixtures. 2 of my colleague went to the office for the meeting and i was excluded because i need to do the pricing thingy. their meeting lasted for 2 hours,and i taught,dorang ni meeting sales ka apa ni? 1200 sharp i went for my lunch with m man. my lunch is like fixed to that hour if it isn't 1200 then it will be 1230 as 1300 is the time for my man to work.unless he is having his morning shift. after lunch my mates said that we have to come up with a flyer proposal as well as sales. GOSH! flyer? i haven't done that before, like ever in my life! isn't that supposed to the communication department punya keja ka? tapi teda pula tu department sini jadi terpaksa la kami yang buat. my flyer was very2 simple and suprisingly my superior likes my job and it will be choosen to be the company flyer. yay! even it's just a flyer but i was still proud of myself. HAHA! tomorrow, we will finalized the flyer proposal and as for the sales, i can't think of anything. i saw that giving discount for products doesn't really increase the sales so maybe i will be doing lighting packages for residential/office/cafe's etc..etc.. maybe lighting services as well. macam, doing lighting repair. but that one is lame as well. i also taught of doing designing lighting floor. hmm..ntah la..my brain isn't working anymore and saya perasan juga kata2 saya dalam blog ni tunggang tebalik already cause i really can't think! huhu..for my readers, can u help me come up with a good idea of lighting sales?? huhuhu~~

the top pic is the flyer proposal i came up with which i taught really is dumb and lame. and the bottom one is the pic of chandelier i snapped from our showroom,which is nice,for my eyes la. HAHA! OH GOSHH!! saya lupa handover la fuente punya service order! dang it! x apa la..esok la..HAHHA! if u guys have any suggestions please drop it by ya..thank u everyone!!!

i love living my life. im happy :)

i was always the depressed kid in the family that would complain to God about why wasn't i like the other kid. i grew up without a dad because he ran away with another woman. but that wasn't the problem. i was always the one who would be asked questions like "if u could choose between ur mom and dad where would u choose" fuck that question! i hate being asked that! i always asked God, why do I have to go through these? why wasn't i like the other kids who could grow up with their father? I always prayed and asked God to bring my father back home so we could live together again. but my prayers weren't answered till this day. and with that i would keep on complaining..complaining and more complaining!! why didn't God worked His miracle to make my father realize that he made a mistake? but after watching this video i now realize that God has a bigger and better plan for me why He never bring my father back. after watching the video on my cousin's blog, i searched more for his motivation talk. there was one talk that he did in a  church where he said "If God answers your prayer, PRAISE GOD. BUT, if He doesn't He has a bigger and better plan for you!" and that was the moment that I knew why He didn't answers my prayer for so long. He must have a bigger plan for me. there was also one part of his speech where he talks about life. people fall and fail and had their back stabbed, which i totally agree 100%, and people would complain about their failure. People would ask God why did He put us thru such obstacles like we can't even handle it? but God knows best. God wouldn't put us in an obstacle which He knows that we cant overcome. God gave us obstacles in life so we could grow strong with Him. Now I realize why did God never bought my father back into the family. Because He wants me to grow up strong,and for the tragic divorce of my mom and dad, God wants me to be prepared for something that is bigger. Praise God. I really didn't realize all of this coming until I saw the video. Nick says, there is nothing such as"just my luck" and "coincidence". Those that u have today is all God work and I thank God for every little thing that I have today. Thank you so much Father :)
P/s : do watch the video and find more videos about Nick :) He is really inspiring. God made us everyone because He has a purpose for life.

embarrasseeemmeennnntt!!!

i was having my full shift today and it turns out to be really a bored day. than i saw some cool awesome fantastic pictures which were nice for my room. and i tot,"hey, i'll print these and put it on my room" well it was quite a  sneaky job for printing these at the office. unfortunately my printer wasn't working on my desk so i have to use the printer inside the office. i waited til the rest went back and sneaked into the their office. i clicked on the selected pics and press the button print and suddenly the invoice printer made a zipping sound. YES! I printed my pictures on an invoice paper! HAHAA!!3 copies for each pictures,one for the customer,one for the accounts dept and one for the office.OH! and with that i have a pink,yellow and white papers with my pictures on it! yay! stupid! HAHAH! i really felt stupid for printing it on an invoice..i just didn't want the HANTU CINA to find out what i was doing so i let the printer print it. and once its done i'll just take those stupid invoice paper and put it on my wall. how nice is tat!? next time i'll be more careful when sneaking then. hope that no one finds out! shhh!!! diam2 kamu aaaa~~~~

u had me at COLLAGE!

see the new collage on my blog? i love that!! i was just browsing some pictures at yahoo and i found this collage which is very cool! well im not a rock freak chick but i do love legendry rock stars like david bowie!u could see his head on the right of this collage which has a little circle that has that "bowie" on it. i love SEX PISTOLS!!! especially sid!!! elvis is like just ok for me. i like iggy pop as well as the stooges but this collage is a all-male collage. why don't they put the runaways or at least joan jett in that? Joan is a legend afterall,a very succesfull one. kurt cobain is a hero also! luv him! adore him!i really,really like REALLYYY in love with this collage and im gonna put this on my wallpaper cuz i know my man loves it to! my man loves rock and roll band especially rancid (singing,ruby ruby ruby ruby soho,and another one two lovers in the bedroom.hahah! he loves that line!)sex pistols (we are sid lovers!) but most of his fav bands are local bands from sabah like 3rd dice,donatello,and banyak lagi la..i forgot their names..infact actually most of the bands are his friends. so no doubt whenever a gig is in town i would be alone and bored and do stupid things .HAHAH!ni once waited him at te car for like 4 hours doing nothing and enjoying the heat and stupid sweats. sambil2 tidur~ perghhh~~~ punya sandi..hahhahha..even im in the car i could hear the sounds of drums and guitar and people singing,i would say screaming!i've seen a video during their gig and it was awesome but scary. they run around and form a circle pit and jumping2 like, idk how to further describe it!my man always tells me stories of rock and roll legends and where the came from. like punk, the revolution came from uk and it started with bands like rancid and sex pistols. i never got bored listening to his stories as if they were bedtime stories for me. we would often play music real loud and sing and laugh and do crazy things. ok,sy melalut suda! dr cerita rockband pg cerita kami berdua pula..hahhahahha..ok! i'll stop here! but i really love the collage!!

enjoy being annoyed :)

i annoyed this one girl without realizing it. while most of my facebook friends love going through my pics,stalking me and blablabla this one particular girl gets annoyed at me because..i don't know what makes her so annoyed about me. well,first she posts at my wall that im tembirang. and then she commented on a note that we were tagged that i was tembirang (again) and then when someone commented on my pic that i am minta puji she likes it? what did i do wrong? HAHA! but, then i teringat yang,jangan marah sma orang yang membenci/envy sma kita..sebaliknya,we should be proud cuz we will know that we have what they don't. okay,saya pun manusia biasa juga dan pernah juga envy sma orang yang dekat sama saya, but,instead of expressing my feelings that i envy her/him i work hard to get what they want and just be grateful of what i have now. she was a good friend of mine actually and i always went to visit their home dulu2..i went to her profile and then i knew that she,well,grew uo and maybe dia pun tembirang la yang dia sudah pandai minum semua..OMG! stakat beer dan yang sewaktu dengannya saya x hairan la dalinggg...then,there was this JD in her pics that she calls it black 'LEVEL' and level 5..urmm..i dont think she knows the diff between these alcohols~ sayaang,i work as a bartender before..smoking,drinking,clubbing is just well,biasa bha dat.setakat ko pandai minum tiger saya x hairan. try tequila,whiskey,vodka or even the flamming lamborghini kalo ko kuat sngat suda la..eh..ko taw ka juga apa yang saya tulis tu semua tadi? atau ko minta ajar..sayang,i could even make cocktails if u know what that is. real drinking girls doesn't trip like u do honey~ even sya punya kawan c daph yang master2 minum x tembirang oo macam ko..maybe ko new comer bha so, x pa la...have fun with ur misery getting annoyed with me and selamat mengenali dunia~

p/s: sya post bukan sebab saya marah tapi sya kelucuan. sekian. maybe dia nmpak fb sya yang innocent barangkali..ahhahahaah..oh! for ur infomation N bukan nama sebenar, my fav is tequila shots. thank u :)

from hobby to career

i love doing make-up's.that's the one thing i am really passionate about apart from fashion,hair and singing. i had always been in love with make-up since i was a kid. i would always go thru my mom's make up kit and play them on my face. i love to see my nails coated in red when i was little and my mom would always set my hair during weekdays especially on saturdays before going to church. now i am working sales on lamps, but that wasn't an option for my career as i see my self that i wouldn't go far in this kind of industry. my man would compliment me if i wear make-up's on our special events and i love the way he talk that to me. but i believe he's not only in love with me only when i put make-up. even my face was an up from bed face,he'll still smile at me and say,"u just woke up sayang?'' and then rub my nose with his fingers. so sweet of him :) ok back to make-up,which was the most passionate thing in my life, i applied for a product adviser for the bodyshop company today and will be sending the form tomorrow. i really hope to get this job as it is the stage for me to learn more in make-up and skin-care. i was thinking about doing a freelance makeup service but im not sure if i could grab customers to like my job. i once did a free service for 5 usheres and flower girls for my friends wedding day and most of the girls loved my job. my man was sitting there watching me doing the job and he said that i could be a good "mak andam". hahaha! i do wish to build a career on make up so if you guys need make-up service u could drop anything in my inbox on facebook or straightly call me. i wont be sharing my phone on public so you could just email me thru my email at phobiemaikon89@yahoo.com to ask my number. if you're not sure that investing money for my make-up service,you can meet me and i'll do a free test for you guys. i'll charge rm20 for my services but that is negotiable. quite cheap ya? my work and pictures will be uploaded in this blog or also in my facebook as well :)

The Tourist :)

My man and I went to have dinner at his cousin house and after dinner was a late night movie. went to suria sabah for the first time and we kind of got lost in the middle of the building. we were watching the tourist which was bit complicated.check out the movie yourself. quite worth for the dollars u spend but i rather see it on dvd's actually. angelina jolie looking hot as always and also johnny deep which looks healthy than the one he was starring for pirates of the carribean. ok,no more reviews! well,about his cousin, i never met her before and this was the first time getting to know her. just petite as me :) macam kira sesi perkenalan la time jumpa dia ni..i had pre-dinner before going to her house coz i have to take my medicine. cant even finish dinner at her home tapi lauk dia sedap oo..ngaahhaha..

colors and brushes :)

i love playing with make up and wen i have my me time i'll play with these~ here's a peek with what i have been doing this week during my me time :)

thank u doctor:)

due to my urinating problems, i went to see the doctor yesterday at polyclinic 1borneo~ the doctor asked me to pee in a container which was disgusting but i still have to do it cuz they want to put a test on my pee. the test didn't even last for 10 minutes after handing the staff nurse my warm pee...yuck! the doctor said that my kidneys had been infected by bacteria and that explains why i pee'd blood. and the doctor also said that the salt level in my body way high and i had to cut on salt and consume more water. the doctor gave me 4 types of medicine. first was antibiotics which i was demanded to finish. the other one was "buscopan" (well i just wrote what i read ) which was for sakit perut. maybe for preventing my ngilu2 at the rahim~ cuz the pharmascist wrote "sakit perut" here.third was the ponstan,which is kind of pain killers to avoid having that ngilu2 thing during my loo,i guess~these three were pills which i have to take 3x a day except for the antibiotic. and the last one was "URAL". its like powder. dissolve into water and it makes the squishing sound and emits little bubbles. smells and taste like 100plus but still have that medicine taste-like. so this one is to clean up my pee.it says here in the box "effervescent granuls", "pleasantly flavoured urinary alkalinizer" and "sugar free". i dont really agree with the "pleasant" part. after giving the doctor a visit and consuming my medicine,i feel a whole lot better ;)
tonight, i will be having dinner with my boyfriend and his cousin at my boyfriend's cousin home.hahaha! complicated eh? please don't ask me to cook! i rather do the dishes than cook! i never met his cousin actually but takut juga saya kan kalo ada orang mau interview pasal kita.. so saya kena la ayu2..baru laki sya bangga! ahhahah! sot! maybe movies after dinner. it's been like 1 year din went to see movies~ i dont even know apa movie yang ada skarang! hahaha!
ok, stop! i need to do my check on my cityville :)
hehehhe..til then seniora and seniorita's!

complicated!

it's been like 5 days of misery. i'm not really in a good condition in these days. i had tons of work to do but that didn't really bothered me. what bothered me the most was my health condition. kencing sya bha x lawas ni..takut sya ooo...this morning i got up and went to the toilet but it was so hard for me to take the loo..sakit dan pedih..and i saw like tiny drops of blood..but i wasn't really sure..sebab sya rasa saya masih mamai bha dat time..then i couldn't sleep anymore so i went to take my shower and i got ready for work..the madness of loo-ing was coming again and i had to go to the ladies. this time was sure..i pee'd blood and i got really panicked. I text my boyfriend about it and few minutes after he called. i'm meeting the doctor tomorrow to check on what is wrong with me. takut sya kena buah pinggang but hopefully i'll be just fine. tu la, before getting this awful condition makan jak makanan yang x patut2 tapi x maw minum air..adehhh..next time i'll drink plentyx100 of water so i'm not gonna get thru this again. for those who read this blog please take a lesson from my experience. stay healthy and be hydrated always. drink lots of good water and cut down salt! if u can't resist the salt,do drink lotssaaa water,especially warm water. get a healthy life people! oh! and one more thing, im cutting down my salt levels and adding more on vege. im not a greeny fan but at least i'm trying to consume and include that in my diet. :)

a girl name ash.

i was thinking in the office,mesmerizing the days during high school. but this particular person had left so much memories with me during high school. her name, ash and we were always the stupid silly, danger magnet girls. we went to boarding school and that was how we met. we were room mates when the girls had to move from the girls to boys hostel. plus, we were class mates. she was the loud girl in the class that even our math teacher will ask her why does she have so many questions to ask.we made all kinds of silly things. we once took "somebody" diary and read it and we were like laughing like there's no tomorrow. but we kept it slow so the "somebody" wont wake up.
we were the ones who'll sleep in class,hit by gigantic water bottles, always say " kasi bangun sya lepas 5 minit","x pa,yang penting bukan uncit" and ten like "ko mau turun petang ka hari ni". hahhaha..that one is a sign of escape laaa....hahaha..she was the one that i was comfortable of gossiping and telling my privacy life. she is a good advisor,listener and a good friend. i miss her damn much. i hope she's staying healthy and still the way she is when i first met her, i mean like crazy! HAHA!

enjoy~~just damned bored~~ HAHA!

happy birthday!!!

today is my brother's birthday and im not with im on his big day. he turns 15 today but i still see him as a little brother i use to play and laugh with in those old days :) he is the third child among us four and our gap is quite far, which was 7 years. when my mom was still carrying him in the womb, i use to talk with him. like putting my lips at our mom's bulging belly and just talk to him like he hears every word what im saying. once my mom took me to the clinic for her baby check, and my mom put my hands at her tummy and i could feel him kicking. i use to be the rebellious lazy child and i came worse when he was delivered. i felt that my parents no longer wants me and even my sister was keen to him than me. but i didn't hated him,i do loved him but i dont know why im so bad with him. HAHA! i once threw a stone and hit his forehead but he didn't cry,i was always the one scolding him and calling him names, but once i was far from him i do really miss him. maybe back days I didn't know how my stupid attitude could affect my lil' brothers but now i know that my stupidity made me feel sorry for myself. but, i thank God for giving me such beautiful siblings that they never turned me down. from the day my parents divorced, i had promised my self not to let them suffer like me and my sister did. and i think I kept that promise :) He,as the first son of the family was strong,independent and at a very young age he thinks like a grown up and acts like one and for that, i am really proud of it.
Dear euan, I hope that you could be a good guy when u get older and enjoy ur birthday. be a teenager as others do, don't just fall to much. but i know, u learn from ur mistakes. u never gave up for me and ur such a wonderful little brother. thank you for being such a protector for the family...happy birthday brother,,,i love u so much :)

2011 Resolution~

+ I wanna have a healthy lifestyle. I promise I wont starve myself to death to loose weight but to eat healthy.

+I'll try to save money starting this year.

+I'll try to make our life better.

My WISH

I wish all my family,relatives,beloved ones and friends to be healthy and happy~ I wont ask much,just to be healthy and happy :)