what if?

hey everyone..it's been a while eh? haha! past few days i received bad news from friends. my ex-schoolmate was involved in an accident and friends started telling me that he was in coma and srts of bad stuffs which fucking freaked me out. he was involved in a motorcycle accident and went thru a cow/horse. i hope he's doing fine and i know he will. there were so many if's playing in my mind. i was sad to hear that he had been thru in such situation. he was a long friend and damned i was stressed to know the news. than i taught, what if my love will go such thing. maybe,no,i WILL get devastated so muh and go crazy i guess. i think of all the ifs because he is also a dangerous driver. sangat merbahaya! excuse me but this entry will go rojak! he goes so fast on the road he could reach 120/km! he drives so near to other vehicles especially LORRIES and heavy2 vehicles! in the parking lot he does drifts! well, i as an adrenaline lover and a danger magnet loves stuffs like these. believe me,i was the one asking him doing drifts at limited space parking lots,who would say "boy! kejar tu kereta! laju lagi laju lagi!" or say " boy,mabuk suda? blh drive lagi ka?kalo masih boleh,sambung lagi kita minum saaanaa",kalo ada kenduri sma famly dia "ui..sana sudah dorang..kejar laaa!!" ya,stupid galfren i know. then i started to think, if both of us were involved in an accident or one of us,i know my family and friends will be really devastated. but,both of us are stupid danger magnets. so we have to find other ways to have a safe adrenaline rush.no more car-in-dangerous-actions. i don't wat to get involved in accidents plus i hate hospitals! ok,my love is coming to pick me up for home~~i just hope that my friend will get well soon so his family n friends wouldn't worry~

idk.

hey everyone. its 0208 now in malaysia and i cant sleep. im damned frustated and the funny thing is i dont know why. today supposed to be a good day for me but it turns out to be vice versa and i cant explain why. i am so stressed at home rather at work. i feel like dying. for now i just want to go party,go clubbing, have round and round of drinks till i loose my head and puke and get hangovers next morning and im carving for cigarettes right now. dont get me wrong. im not an alcoholic. i havent had a drink or a shot for like 2 months and my last cigarette was 26hours ago.but i just feel stressed. i cant sleep and i had so much "if" in my minds. for the past few days i was really coping with stress and tension but i never say it out loud to anyone and i guess even this post is as lame as it seems because im only talking about how fucking stressed i am. i really want to meet my galfriends,hang out and go out and just meet new friends. seriously my life now is only about house chores,work and home and i haven't had a descent entertaiment or even a me-time for my self except for the time in the shower scrubbing my body with a 112.90MYR body scrub that i scooped from the body shop. well i didn't like take the whole product. my manager asked me to scrub so i took the most expensive body scrub and tried it. besides,why should i rob it? i have money to spend on laa.. ok everyone, im still not sleepy but im moving on to tumblr and facebook. goodbye!